Thursday, May 14, 2009
I won't be ignored Dan!
It's time for Decomama's rant of the week. In fact I believe I may be overdue for a wee rant. This one may offend some of my readers but I really don't care. I don't give a rant's ass. This is my blog and I'll rant if I want to, rant if I want to. You would rant too if it....OK enough with the breaking out in song, although maybe I could rap my rant. But not today. That would require more time than I have. If you are on your land line or cell phone while reading this, you may want to stop now, because I'm talking to you. That's right - you slaves to your phones. Why I'll bet you have never ignored a ringing phone in your life. You could be in the middle of dinner, the middle of an orgasm, the middle of a one-on-one conversation (the most annoying to me) or the middle of crossing the street with a Mac truck barreling toward you and you would still not be able to suppress the need to see who it is and in 99% of the cases, actually answer it. Why phone slaves even bother paying for an answering service is beyond me. Oh, right, they need that to kick in while they are on the phone for the 27th time of the day with their needy kids or husbands or wives who obviously have nothing better to do with their time than check in every 10 minutes with some earth-shattering information that just couldn't wait until they got home. (oh, right, that would mean they would actually have to have a face to face conversation with their beloved family member) Shit! Save something for the dinner table. It was bad enough when phones were just phones. Now, with texting, the phone slave can totally ignore you, head down, mesmerized, while their fingers are busy tapping on their teeny tiny phone buttons, furiously sending messages and responses to their fellow phone slaves. I also have an enormous pet peeve when it comes to call-waiting. I do not use it myself and I find it incredibly rude when I am talking to someone and the incoming caller is allowed (welcomed actually) to just butt right in while we are having a chat. It took years of training our children not to interrupt two adults while they were talking, yet phone slaves everywhere never hesitate to welcome this same intrusion while talking on the phone. As much as I hate call waiting, I adore call display. Call display must have been invented by someone like me. The opposite of a phone slave - whatever that is. My whole family hates the phone. My husband is the one who actually started weaning me off my own mild case of phone slavery several years ago. He is the king of the quick conversation when it comes to phone calls. Just the facts. My daughter has never liked the phone - ever. We used to have to beg and plead for her to come to the phone to speak to her distant relatives as a small child and even now, she does not enjoy phone chats. We gave her a cell phone when she was 12 for emergencies, expecting she would hop on the phone slave bandwagon like most of her peers, but she did not. Must take after her dad. She only turns it on when she needs to or I ask her to, and she has never sent a text message. Neither have I. We do not answer the phone at dinner. We do not answer the phone if we do not recognize the number. We don't answer the phone if for whatever reason, we just don't feel like it. I rarely answer the phone while I'm blogging (it interrupts my chi). If the phone rings after 9:00 pm, it better be for a good reason - because I am winding down from the day, reading or watching TV and I am not interested in anything more than a quick chat, and only if it is necessary. It's not that I am opposed to new technologies, just unnecessary ones. Just because it is the latest, sure doesn't mean it's the greatest. When you are attached to your phone, it's like an extra appendage, there is no getting away. You are at somebody's beck and call all day long. Moms everywhere will say they need their cell phones with them at all times in case the school calls and there is an emergency. I am fine with that justification, so don't answer it then if the call display tells you it is not the school calling with some troubling news about little junior puking all over his desk. (they can leave a message - that way you don't need to get there before the janitor has had time to clean it up) How many times have I heard, "Oh, do you mind? I just have to take this call - it's important." How important? And yes I do mind if you had given me a second to tell you I minded. It couldn't wait five minutes until we were through? Was it a matter of life or death? Was it your direct line to the Prime Minister's office? The hotline to the Vatican? It's like people who argue line calls at weekly house league tennis matches - it ain't Wimbledon people! Get over yourselves. Give yourself a break. Turn off your phone. Let the answering machine do it's job. Return the call later when the caller has your full attention. Be polite to your guests. Make your husband wait until he gets home to tell you about his important office gossip. Free yourself! And stop annoying me!