Monday, May 4, 2009

Winner of the O.A.I. golf rating system goes to......

It's official. Yesterday, my husband and I golfed with the winner of the the world's highest D.B.I. If you want to learn the meaning of D.B.I., you will have to visit another blog. It was a term created by the guys at www.niceballz.com. Because I have difficulty with the term (as a woman) I have changed it up a bit for my own use. I use the O.A.I. as a rating system for golf partners. Translation: Obnoxious Asshole Index. Doug and I were paired up with a father and son for the day. When booking a twosome in golf, there is always some risk factor. For the most part, we usually end up playing with some great people. But not always. Rick, the son, (or should I say Dick?) will no doubt top the charts this season on the O.A.I. rating scale. It is rare indeed that I actually was looking forward to the end of the round just to escape this guy. I could easily write 3 blogs about the myriad of asinine moves this guy made, but I will just give you the highlights as I am on the run this morning. Not once, but twice he played my husband's ball. How could this happen you may ask? Well, Doug is a long driver, and we would have to wait for Rick (Dick) to hit 3 or 4 shots before we ever got to Doug's first drive. This allowed Rick to think he was finding his own 4th shot and before we could stop him - he'd be shanking it yet again. It's a good thing my husband is a fairly calm, cool, collected guy. I know some golfers that would never forgive such behaviour. Especially when there is some money on the line (certainly not the case yesterday). He had zero social skills. He yapped continuously all day long - either to himself, to us, or into his CELL PHONE. Not one word of his yapping was interesting, humorous or for that matter intelligent. We even heard a couple of racist mutterings about how the immigrants in Canada should all head back to their own countries. Need I say more? He was forever hovering around in our sight-lines as we were about to hit the ball. Once, he even got out of the cart at a hole and went and hovered behind the guys in the tee box ahead of us. I was hoping they would tell him to get the f__k out of their space, but unfortunately, they were too polite and just looked at him as if he were some sort of tragic homeless guy. On several occasions he never made it past the red tee box on his tee shots and instead of waiting until everyone had teed off, he would wander around in front of us looking for his ball. Oh- the temptation to knock one into his head - not sure how I held back, but I did. And those, ladies and gentlemen, are just a few of the precious moments from yesterday's round of 18. I will only talk about the O.A.I. again this season, if someone can top Dick, I mean Rick. If there is a god in heaven, I won't have to.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hi Deb, sorry about being annoying on the course, I was having a bad day. If we play together in the future, I'll try to have a better attitude.

Rick (Dick) good pun Deb