Sunday, July 19, 2009

I haven't been fishing - really I haven't!

Well, the verdict is in. I have been keeping track of the yea's and nay's. I wasn't entirely sure myself, but now I think I have definitely leaned toward the yea's. After a few weeks of informal polling (I wouldn't call it fishing), I have decided the last several months of frustration and patience have paid off. It took me years of failed attempts to stay the course, but I finally pushed myself to the limit. I grew out my hair. My super short spiky coif has been replaced by an almost chin-length do that I wear slightly asymmetrically, tucking the left side behind my ear while the right ear remains covered. So what's the big deal about that you may be asking? Well, the journey from short to long is plagued with self-doubt and waaaay too many bad hair days for most women, myself included up until now. Especially in the summer months when the freedom and ease of a short haircut usually will outweigh the labour intensive longer style. But, since this has been an unusually cool summer, the weather has helped me keep the destination clear in my mind and hot humid weather hasn't pushed me to run screaming into my hairdresser demanding she sheer the damn thing off completely (I came close to going the full-on Sinead O'Conner look once). So, I've been quietly tallying compliments versus silence (usually means they liked the old cut better) and lately, now that it actually looks like a style someone chose (rather than arrived at), the kudos are flowing in. Yesterday, after months of silence, my own husband was queried. "So, do you like my longer hair?" I asked, "and be honest, I can take it." I was so certain he was going to adamantly say yes, but he didn't. He said, "Well, it's more traditional than your old hairdo, I liked the short hair, especially in your (blog) photo." "Hmmfff," I thought, what does he know? So, now I was thinking, "Gee, maybe I should just get it cut again and make my life easier." No more blow drying with the big round brush, shaping with the fat curling iron, two products to make it stay that way for a few hours - all in all a fair investment of time to make it look the way I like. I started thinking, "All this time and pain for nothing." But then, last night arrived. We were having a little party for above-mentioned husband's birthday and so I thought, this will be a chance for another fishing (I mean polling) expedition. First the ladies. The gals all gave a resounding thumbs up. Gotta love women. They zoom in on things like hair and clothes and purses and shoes. Always with the eye for detail and always willing to fling a compliment your way - kind of like a mutual admiration society. I was half way there. Now I knew I couldn't come right out and actually ask any of the guys if they liked my new look, so I bided my time to see what would happen as the night progressed. After dinner, as we sat around drinking a few more glasses of wine in the candlelight, (always a woman's best friend), it happened. One of my husband's friends looked down the length of the table and said, "Deb, I know men aren't supposed to do this, but I noticed your hair looks different from the last time I saw you. I really like it - it looks good on you. Is it just your hair or did you change your glasses too? (I could have added here that I had also lost a bit of weight - but I was focused on the hair here). As he had just tipped the poll in favour of the new do sticking around for awhile, another man, sitting next to me, now alerted to the fact that perhaps he should add a comment, said, "Yeah, Deb, I thought something was different", but unwilling to commit fully to a solid opinion, added "but it seems to me you are always changing your hair." He was right, always changing the colour of my hair but that is a piece of cake compared to growing your hair out. The truth is, I am as fickle about my hair as a woman can be. And no matter what hair you have, you always long for something else. There are always good hair days and bad hair days. So, now I ask myself, all informal polling aside. "Deb, do you like your new hair? When you look in the mirror, do you like what you see?" The answer is different depending on the state of my hair, but for the most part, I like the look (I think it is softer and sexier) but I loathe the effort to get it that way. What's a girl to do? In the grand scheme of things, what I do with my hair is completely meaningless, I know that much. But as they say, it is our crowning glory and from that perspective, lands fairly high on a woman's list of priorities. At the very least, I now think I have to let this length have it's moment in the sun and give it a chance to (pardon the pun-here it comes) grow on me and those around me. I'll continue my secret polling and see. "Hairs to change." Cheers.

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