It's been awhile since I felt like ranting but this morning's drive into work has left me with a bad taste in my mouth all day. Admittedly, I tend to either listen to my own mix CD's in the car or 680 news for the traffic reports or the ultimate MOR station - CHFI, but today, I felt like listening to Marilyn Dennis who I miss terribly since she left CITY TV, so I switched the station to CHUM FM.
For years I was a faithful CHUM FM listener, but CHFI seems to have suited me more in recent years. CHUM FM plays more current music and I figured it might also be a good idea to listen to some new music, step outside my aging box, so to speak. The first song that came on was a rap tune that I actually found myself digging a bit, could even imagine dancing a bit and then I started focusing on the lyrics. Had I just heard what I heard? Wow! A giant step back for women - that was how it struck me.
"If she ever tries to fucking leave again I'mma tie her to the bed And set the house on fire
Just gonna stand there And watch me burn But that's alright Because I like The way it hurts Just gonna stand there And hear me cry But that's alright Because I love The way you lie I love the way you lie I love the way you lie"
The first stanza is sung by Eminem and the second by Rihanna. I have not felt so deflated by what I heard in a long long time. Is this what my 15 year old daughter and her friends are listening to? Do they think it's OK?
So I hauled my daughter out on the patio tonight and talked to her about this. Thankfully she thinks Eminem is an asshole and does not think these lyrics are alright - but what about other girls her age? Do they? I think it's time for some real uproar here. I would like to see young women everywhere banding together to protest such demeaning, anti-feminist, unempowering thoughts on the airwaves. When I looked at a few websites with comments about this song, I was even further horrified at how many listeners thought this song was "awesome."
Was I missing something? Do young women find these lyrics acceptable? Did Rihanna not just escape an abusive relationship? What would possess her to sing this song? Help me out here folks. I don't get it.
I started to think maybe the whole idea of "freedom of speech" was at the core of this. Maybe it has something to do with that - admitting sado-masochistic leanings as some sort of freeing anthem. The same sort of attitude that goes along with the idea of oral sex not being "real sex". The things I hear about today's teens equating fellatio with nothing more than a good night kiss. I hear this stuff and think - maybe it's not that prevalent and it's more urban legend than reality. But the more I hear, the more I wonder if I am naive now.
I find it depressing and sad and if that makes me seem old than so be it. I feel sorry for any young person that views intimacy between two people to be so void of emotion or connection that they place little or no value on it. Is there an entire segment of this generation that have separated love and sex so completely that their hearts have become frozen to the potential of genuine love?
I question. I ponder. I wonder.
Maybe they need to consider doing this too.
Question. Ponder. Wonder.
The answers might come.
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4 comments:
You're right -- that is very depressing. All we can do is raise our own daughters to believe in themselves and be strong. But sometimes it feels like we're working against some pretty big adversaries.
It's all about the money.... sell that soul for the $$$$$...
Then again you may have bopped along to "Saturday night's all right for fightin', get a little action in" in early 70s or "a little less conversation, a little more action" an oldie but a goodie as they say... I'm sure there are some you finished the school dance to in some loose/firm embrace that had ssome ulterior undertones in the lyrics.... but I do agree with you that some of todays "songs" are degrading.
Deb, Great blog... made me think of my favourite ol' campfire song....
She went away and left me
Oh She never said a word
And even if she would have told me
I probably never would have heard
Well she once said no other woman honey
could lay up in her bed
Noe theres cum stains on the pillow
Where she once laid her head
cum stains on the pillow
in the middle of the bed
I found me a true fine momma
and she got some damn good head
but i hope shes out there listening
to every word i said
Cause theres cum stains on the pillow
Where she once laid her head
(Play it now Guitar Solo)
Here now when she took my Cadilliac
That didnt bother me abit
When she took that blue tick hound
she shouldnt ever done that shit
Never thought Id see the day
Her love would be as dead
as the cum stains on the pillow
Where she once laid her head
Cum stains on the pillow
In the middle of the bed
Found me a too fine momma
and shes got some damn good head
I hope your out there listening
To every word i said
Cause there cum stains on the pillow
where you once laid your head
Yes theres cum stains on the pillow
In the middle of bed
Yikes! Lots of great lyrics out there!
I just read an interesting article about this very subject on Macleans.ca (Aug. 10) called "Outraged moms, trashy daughters," which offers an interesting perspective on the mother/teenage daughter generational gap.
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