Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Clearing my throat - literally!

This is likely to sound a bit ranty and whiny so if you're not up to it - stop reading right now. You know how when everything is going your way and the stars seem to be all aligned and you have that overwhelming feeling that nothing could possibly go wrong and then it happens. Shit. As many of you know, I landed a new job a few weeks back and my start date of October 13, at the time, seemed like an eternity away. I had what seemed to be all the time in the world to get organized, psyched, and generally ready for the HUGE shift in my life that was about to take place. I had more than three weeks. Week one sort of slipped by filled with lunches, tennis matches and general celebrating with friends. Week two approached and I had decided to start purging my office and do some shopping for a few new duds to wear to my new job. That's when it happened. The shit. It started innocently enough with a sore throat and a little cough. I immediately upped my Vitamin C intake to 3000 mgs. a day and carried on. I kept up my fitness routine, even thought it seemed to take a bit out of me, I ignored the fatigue. Within 3 days my little cough turned into "Holy shit - I think I just hacked up a piece of my lung!" By day 8, I wondered if I had any lungs left at all. I envisioned wobbly chunks of reddened swollen raw chicken encased within my rib cage and every time I felt a coughing spell coming on, my entire body would stiffen with fear of the onslaught of pain that was about to accompany the fit. I reluctantly paid a visit to a doctor at this point thinking I either had H1N1 or some other form of the flu that could possibly be treated with drugs. No luck - "It's probably viral," he says. He took a swab anyway and sent me home with a recipe for chicken soup. By day 11, I started getting really pissed. I had 3 days before my new job was to start and I had done none of the things I had planned. My workout routine had been reduced to tossing phlegm filled tissues into the trash can (2 points each) and lumbering back and forth between the kitchen (where the chicken soup lived) and the family room TV. I never actually retired to bed for a day and in retrospect, I probably should have, but I had things to do and places to go and as it now seemed I would never get well, I figured I may as well get used to my new seemingly chronic condition. Thanksgiving weekend arrived and I was still not getting any better, in fact, it seemed I was getting worse. On Tuesday I had to be better. I just had to be. I was not. When I got up in the morning, my voice was practically gone, my throat was nearly completely closed and the coughing was as deep and disgusting as ever. I had to ignore it all and go to work. I went armed with throat lozenges, tissues, an assortment of herbal teas and the hope that they would think I actually sounded better this way - sort of all raspy and Demi Moorish. At least I looked nice in my new outfit - maybe they wouldn't notice my tuberculosis-like hacking. I managed to get through the day fairly well - and fortunately they did not allow me to interface with clients - I would be training - sitting at a desk all day, watching videos and reading manuals. Thank god for small miracles. Just got through day 2 and I hesitate to get too excited, but I detect a slight shift in my lungs. (god knows there can't be much left in there to expel) and I ALMOST feel like doing a few bicep curls. However, I won't. I'll wait at least one more day before I push myself and see what happens. Hopefully - no more shit.

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