Oscar and Me

This will be a live streamed blog as I watch the Oscars.  It is now 8:47 pm EST.  The red carpet show is over and the actual awards have begun. 

First things first.  With all the dresses available in the world, you would think there would not be even one ugly dress worn.  But, alas, there may be a lot of money available to spend on them, but that does not guarantee the buyers have taste.  Or even an eye for what looks good on their own bodies.  My GAWD, what are some of these women thinking? For starters, forest/hunter green belongs in nature, not on one's body, unless you have red hair and alabaster skin - Glenn Close - take note.

On a more positive note, everyone could take a lesson from Gwyneth Paltrow - the best dress, hand's down - elegant, feminine, sleek.  And you can say, well, anything would look good on that body, but in her case, it is both.  She has the body to carry anything, but she also chooses the most tasteful gowns in the softest most luscious colours and fabrics and the simple addition of just a diamond studded cuff and big dinner ring, no earrings, no necklace - so understated - perfection.  Close behind was Penelope Cruz in her steely grey chiffon with that off the shoulder wrap neckline accentuating the sexy curve of her neck and collarbone and fitted bodice followed by the full billowing layers of silky chiffon - the ultimate princess dress that any girl would look great in, no matter the body shape or size.

Third place is awarded to George Clooney's girlfriend, (former wrestler! WTF!?), Stacy Keibler.  Maybe George likes being pinned down? Anyway, her dress looked like spun gold, draping her tall lithe figure like the designer just took the fabric and wrapped her in it and fashioned a rosette on her right pelvic bone - like those DIY drapery swags we used to do on our windows in the 80's, but much better of course.  Her golden blonde hilighted hair worn long and pulled to one side, the opposite side of the rosette, was the perfect balancing act and her chunky diamond drop earring that was so boldly exposed was the right weight and shape for her face and added the ideal sparkle and glam.  She looked exquisite. 

A few other observations.  Emma Stone - too much bow!, Jennifer Lopez - too many creases, Milla Jovovich - too much shoulder padding, Michelle Williams - one too many poofy layers, Meryl Streep - too much fabric.

Good to have Billy Crystal back as host - he is perfect for the job.  Never a bore, liked by everyone; his opening number is always a chuckle. He did not disappoint.  They could do away with the lame attempts at humour by some of the presenters.  They mostly fall flat, with the exception of Chris Rock who does not know how to be anything but funny.  But what is up with his hair?  Are afros back?  Did I not get that memo? 

The Cirque de Soleil performance was just simply WOW - what they are able to do with their bodies is extraordinary and as Billy Crystal so aptly put it, he "pulled a hamstring just watching!" 

Some of the winners so far, some artsy looking guy with long silvery/white hair won for cinematography and when he got up to give his speech, and the camera zoomed in, it surprised me that he did not actually have a face that matched the age of his hair, if that makes sense.  A good candidate for Grecian Formula if he wanted to look a decade younger at least. 

Octavia Spencer's win for The Help - no surprise there - well-deserved.  And, GO commonwealth countries - so far, Canadian,  Christopher Plummer in Beginners and just now, a Kiwi, Bret McKenzie for best original song for The Muppets Movie. 

Ok - time out - what is it about Angelina Jolie that annoys me so much?  Gee, could it be that she comes across as so insincere?, or was it just that stupid move she just made with her leg - as in- "look everyone - I have a high slit in my dress and I wanna make sure you all notice." Ugh! Gag me.  Brad could do so much better. And for Christ's sakes girl, eat a bloody carb! Your arms are positively skeletal, creepy really. You actually CAN be too thin - she did not get THAT memo!

Now we are getting to the part of the Oscars that I find the most tedious.  The last hour when I can barely keep my eyes open any longer.  But the hour where the most important awards are handed out.  Will I make it? Not if they keep doing the awards we don't care about.  Snore.

Now - the scrolling of everyone who died this year - still hanging in there....was Steve Jobs an actor?  Not in alphabetical order - they saved Liz Taylor for last for dramatic impact - it worked.

Now I start thinking about how early I have to get up and how much staying up this late will impact my day tomorrow. 

That's it folks - can't make it.....but George and Brad, head to head - really wanted to see that award.  Pushing through here. Here it comes. Best actor. Neither. The Frenchman - Jean Dujardin. I liked that film - The Artist.  He was great.  Brad and George can battle it out another year.

Now I am done. Nite. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz........no wait  - best actress next - ok, five more minutes. This was a tough one - but Meryl, the queen, The Iron Lady - she was incredible Now I am crying. Either she was really speaking from the heart, or she is even better than we know.

Ok, Ok, one more award.  Best Picture.  And the oscar goes to.......

that silent film.....The Artist.  Thanks for making me see it Ems.  You were right.