Cruel and Unusual Punishment

Nothing like starting a new diet plan the week of a long holiday weekend. The first few days went great. Hot cross buns were consumed "sans beurre", which turned out to be a good tactic, as I never wanted more than one (they just aren't the same that way), and so I only had three all week. I applied the Okanawa Diet principal on Easter Sunday and only ate until I was 80 per cent full. That was helpful, I'm sure. I did have a few treats (I know, they aren't treats to my body), but I still came out ahead of the game (see sidebar for results). As promised, I did go to a spinning class. I was prepared. I bought the bike shorts with the padded crotch (absolutely necessary, I was told), I watched an instructional video, and I spent days mentally psyching myself for the ordeal. Spinning day arrived. I got there early to explain to the instructor that I was new at this and hoped to be alive for the remainder of the weekend. "Go at your own pace, this is your ride", said Sue, the instructor. "I want you to enjoy it and I want you to come back." She got me all set up on the bike, seat adjusted, handlebars adjusted - I was ready to roll. "Just start warming up, low tension, we'll get started in a few minutes." she said as she adjusted her headset microphone. I thought, "Hey, this feels good, I can do this. I'll give myself easy tension for the first day. I'll be fine. "Try to keep your cadence between 90 and 110", said Sue. I glanced down at my numbers. I was at 70. Realizing I would need to pick up the pace, I started cycling faster. And faster. Nope, not fast enough yet. Faster. OK, OK, now I'm at 90 - "I have to spin at this pace for how long?? An hour? I think I'm in trouble here. Then she threw in some intervals, some hills, I kept looking at the clock, mopping up my forehead, and then the pain started. It would seem that my "padded crotch" wasn't cutting it. At the 30 minute mark, I just had to make an adjustment. I raised myself up off the seat (not as easy feat) for some relief and couldn't believe it seemed worse than being seated. I lowered myself back down onto the seat, determined to carry on. Twenty-five more minutes of torture. The last five minutes seemed like an hour and when I got off the damn bike, my legs were weary and my ass felt like I had sat on a grenade. Would I ever be able to sit again? "It takes about 5 rides for your body to adjust" said Sue. FIVE??!! I only suffered through childbirth once. I still find it fascinating that women choose to do that more than once. She wants me to do this four more times?! Surely there is a less painful way to increase my cardio. I haven't made up my mind for sure yet, but I'm thinking spinning may not be the right fit for me. The jury is still out on this one. Anyone wanna buy a pair of "only used once" bike shorts? I didn't think so.